I never had a Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) or a Super NES Console.\u00a0 I did, however, own a Nintendo Gameboy at some point.\u00a0 I followed that up with a Nintendo 64 and finally a Nintendo Wii.\u00a0 I also (somewhere) own a Nintendo DS, the first model, not one of these 3D ones – Nintendo 3DS.\u00a0 I decided, if I wanted to look at things in 3D, I’d turn away from the viewscreen and soak up the real world.\u00a0 If I wanted to watch something that looked like it was ‘coming at me’ I’d get my girlfriend to throw things at my face.\u00a0 The joys of binocular vision.\u00a0 Literal items coming at you at speed is a far more invigorating experience than the impression that a paper thin cardboard cut out looking Mary Elisabeth Mastrantonio is about to slap you in the face.<\/p>\n
I have never understood the appeal of 3D.\u00a0 It has been tried in the past, it didn’t work then, why should it work now?\u00a0 The first attempts at flogging this gimmick involved colourful glasses that gave you an impression of an extra dimension that you live in anyway.\u00a0 You are, and were being charged for something that is free all around you!\u00a0 The latter day version is very similar, it’s just the glasses now make you look like Roy Orbison rather than a dyslexic.<\/p>\n
Now you may comment that this is the same as adding sound to films, films started off without sound and now they have sound.\u00a0 That is utter, utter, bollocks.\u00a0 Shut the fuck up.\u00a0 Now.\u00a0 The addition of sound added far more than contrived depth that only really works when the credits are rolling.\u00a0 All it does is to make half brained simpletons maul out into thin-air, encouraging them to behave like massive, giggling twats in an attempt to protect their worthless heads from a ‘Directed By’ chinning.<\/p>\n
All this gimmickry, all these idiots, all this wasted research and development and all this propoganda and advertising.\u00a0 No one, surely, wants to pay for this?\u00a0 From here, it looks like it is being forced upon us.\u00a0 The cynic in me says the cinemas are struggling for our money, so they see this as a last ditch effort to sway people into their theatres with the promise of ‘the 3rd dimension’.\u00a0 You must pay the extra to watch the 3D version, otherwise you will be laughed at by your peers.\u00a0 2D is for poor people!\u00a0 This can’t be the next generation in visual entertainment?\u00a0 Maybe there will be no escape with all this money being thrown into this overrated shaggy dog story, what do we do and how do we escape?\u00a0 There must be something that wasn’t hatched in the 50’s (guess) that needed rebranding.<\/p>\n
This is all just an opinion.\u00a0 My opinion.\u00a0 I have yet to be convinced by anyone or any involvement in 3D to accept it as any good and a worthwhile addition to the viewing experience.\u00a0 A lack of imaginiation has led someone to think “oooh, how about 3D? we haven’t tried that in the last 20 years?<\/em>”\u00a0 This man\/woman\/troll needs gutting with a pair of sugar tongs.\u00a0 I hate you 3D man and your re-idea.\u00a0 Come up with something new.\u00a0 “How about smell-o-vision?<\/em>”\u00a0 Oh, fuck away you shit-witted oink.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I never had a Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) or a Super NES Console.\u00a0 I did, however, own a Nintendo Gameboy at some point.\u00a0 I followed that up with a Nintendo 64 and finally a Nintendo Wii.\u00a0 I also (somewhere) own … Continue reading