{"id":328,"date":"2017-09-08T19:56:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-08T19:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/?p=328"},"modified":"2018-01-18T16:44:00","modified_gmt":"2018-01-18T16:44:00","slug":"half-a-sack-of-whatever-this-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/?p=328","title":{"rendered":"Half A Sack of, Whatever This Is"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left;\">I opened it up. \u00a0It contained what can only be described as indiscriminate &#8220;stuff&#8221;. \u00a0There appeared to be small shiny balls of effervescence. \u00a0They shimmered as the external light hit them. \u00a0These spheres were in amongst a brown and green mess of matted plant like material which was fibrous yet wet to the touch, not unpleasant but certainly not something I&#8217;d happily finger all day long. \u00a0The stench of it emanated strongly through the opening, and at times overwhelmed.<\/p>\n<p>As my hand pushed in deeper, I felt the arced softness of yellow, boomerang shaped entity. Smeared in the mud-like mess, it&#8217;s sweet smell mixed with the filthy earthen muck. \u00a0It somehow softened the impact to my nasal stimulation. \u00a0I feel I could have eaten one of these had its smothering sack partner been more pleasing to the nose.<\/p>\n<p>There can&#8217;t have been much more in here. \u00a0The receptacle itself wasn&#8217;t that big. After feeling right through the middle, I moved to the side and hit upon something that was surely not of this world. \u00a0Everything was caked in the foul, odorous paste. \u00a0This was no different. There was only one, it was rectangular in shape but deep. About 7 centimeters deep. \u00a0It was as big as a VHS (if you can remember them!), but seemed partitioned in thin, wafer like flaps. \u00a0The outer of these flaps were hardened equivalents of the inner ones, and colorful, with pictures and letters arranged in a very deliberate fashion. \u00a0The picture on the front was very alluring, and instantly decided to judge the rest of this artifacts exploration by what was here. \u00a0As I thumbed through the leaves, each were covered in many words, all structured in a seemingly logical fashion with hundreds on each side. \u00a0This bamboozled me, and I proceeded to place it gently back in the sack.<\/p>\n<p>I spent the next 20 minutes making sure I hadn&#8217;t missed anything. \u00a0I hadn&#8217;t. \u00a0That was it. This fabric container of mystery to be forever a memory of something special. \u00a0Until my aunt came to visit. \u00a0She found it the next day in my bedroom and promptly advised me it was a bag full of shit, a banana, some fucking marbles and a book. \u00a0She threw the bastard out.<\/p>\n<p>You live and learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I opened it up. \u00a0It contained what can only be described as indiscriminate &#8220;stuff&#8221;. \u00a0There appeared to be small shiny balls of effervescence. \u00a0They shimmered as the external light hit them. \u00a0These spheres were in amongst a brown and green &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/?p=328\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":331,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions\/331"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jimandpaul.net\/selfindulgence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}