I sat down and watched the last ten minutes of One Tree Hill the other day, and I cried a little bit inside. It was quite easily the worst piece of television I have ever seen, and that includes comparing it to such gems of broadcasting as Big Brother, and The Hills. During those ten minutes absolutely nothing of any note happened.<\/p>\n
I learnt about the meaning of the word \u2018platitude\u2019 a few months ago (you may have noticed it appear in my blog a few days ago) but that word sums up EVERY SINGLE LINE in this godforsaken program. It’s that\u00a0BAD the writers deserve credit for dreaming up line after line of this shit.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to think about what great people we are\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are so great, you need to learn to love yourself\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you knew what I had learnt from our time together, you wouldn\u2019t feel so bad about yourself\u201d<\/p>\n
I can only think of three lines, but these bastards do it ENDLESSLY for the whole fucking show.<\/p>\n
Let’s look at it another way – let’s imagine it’s a seal at some marine show catching fish for a crowd.<\/p>\n
But it\u2019s not real fish, it\u2019s the bones of fish caked around with a nice foamed NOTHING. And the bones aren\u2019t even real \u2013 they\u2019re made of jellied LIES so the seal can\u2019t even chew on anything.<\/p>\n
But it doesn\u2019t seem to matter to the under-developed audience, braying like cattle at the wonders presented to them as the poor, cute animal aches for something substantial to eat. The audience can\u2019t feel his hunger, they just watch the little bugger swim.<\/p>\n
And I don\u2019t know what role the seal metaphor plays in all this, perhaps he is the television \u2013 capable of relaying information and knowledge to thousands at once, but all he does is shite out the digested remains of the lies and the nothing.<\/p>\n
Yeah, that works.<\/p>\n
But the shite doesn\u2019t pollute the water, because there is nothing there. It\u2019s worse. You can\u2019t see it, but it slowly kills the seal. He tires as he eats for no gain, becomes used to the diet consisting of no nutrition and he stagnates just to survive. The audience grow used to the seal doing less and less with each show and they don\u2019t complain, why should they, the seal is only doing a tiny bit less than he did yesterday, no reason to go on at the poor little sod?<\/p>\n
And the seal looks so good, so slim and healthy. Why can\u2019t I look as good as that seal?<\/p>\n
But that is just the seal-handlers slapping on the make-up.<\/p>\n
The seal is dying, and by watching One Tree Hill you just make him die faster.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I sat down and watched the last ten minutes of One Tree Hill the other day, and I cried a little bit inside. It was quite easily the worst piece of television I have ever seen, and that includes comparing … Continue reading