The cat. In the fucking hat.

Let’s begin where it all begins, the start of any beginning, the portal to any story or journey.  Lets enter the word fortress from the lexicographic portcullis.  Now the story ends.  The end of the tale, the reader now evacuated from the fable’s anus.

Now to the real content.

Hello.  Who’d have thought the human mind brain could comprehend Felus catus attired in any kind of millinery?  Not me, although ironically, I am picturing a tom cat in a top hat.  This cat shall have a name, he was Christened Statham.  He is Statham the Top-hatted Tom.  He is 13 in human years, so presumably 91 in cat years, which I am basing on dog years (7 to 1) because I have no real frame of reference in general animal lifespan. Actually, let’s just ignore all that dog/cat year nonsense and just say he’s 13 – I’m sure we all can all picture a 13 year old cat, well a cat anyway, and that’s old for a cat isn’t it.  The point was, he is an old cat called Statham in a top hat.  I didn’t mention he was ginger did i?  Add that to your list.  He also likes darts, feeling melancholy and admiring Dali artwork.  This cat (Statham) is no Philestine!

Now take a step back.  Again, the human brain comprehending a culturally articulate, clothes wearing, emotional cat.  Weird isn’t it.  The next thing you may notice is the clear act of plagiarism that has taken part.  Most people know that the cat in the hat was a book or character or something created by Dr. Seuss.  Now i don’t know the story of this madman’s cat, but suspect it was colourful, did lots of things that rhymed and was probably recreated in a film by Jim Carrey… Actually, i think it was Mike Myers wasn’t it?  Either way I don’t really care.  Lets go back to my plagiarism.  Is this plagiarism simply because I lifted a character/book title from a nonsensical American? No.  It isn’t.  I was sat doing not much, was trying to think of something to blog about, and came up with the title in my head box.  It is a series of words that were not invented by the doc, but ‘evolved’ over many years during the lengthy history of the English syntax.  These pre-generated words have been arranged in such a way that they make literary sense and these particular ‘word chain’ has popped up on at least two seperate occasions, once by me and once by Seuss Phd.  Was he a medical doctor or did he obtain a Phd in something like Rhyming Science Management?  I don’t know, and to also add, i don’t care.  For some, unknown reason, i have in my head that he was clearly a twat.  So, in a nutshell, what was this all about?  Cat’s don’t usually wear hats (unless you want to get on You’ve Been Framed), plagiarism is in the eye of the beholder and I don’t like Dr Seuss based not on my constructive analysis of him as a person/author, more on a reactive ‘gut feeling’.  Social commentary?  Figure it out for yourselves.

Done.  Can’t think of any more I can nonsense on about.  I’m going to let the cat out, feed the rabbit and bury four sand people under the shed for future generations to dig up and remember from Star Wars.

This entry was posted in Poppycock. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *