Author Archives: Jim

DN

The winds outside were relentless and the anemometer had shown that they were stronger than they had been for weeks, 112mph today. The thick, concrete living unit hummed a constant hum as the resonance of the various building appendages were … Continue reading

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Half A Sack of, Whatever This Is

I opened it up.  It contained what can only be described as indiscriminate “stuff”.  There appeared to be small shiny balls of effervescence.  They shimmered as the external light hit them.  These spheres were in amongst a brown and green … Continue reading

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Whistlers

CHAPTER 1 – INCEPTION “I fear the men coming!” he used to proclaim, on a fairly regular basis.  Some days he wouldn’t stop.  The anguish in his voice and the genuine terror in his eyes would make me, at least, … Continue reading

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Chinese arses

I remember a fantastic TV series aired in the mid-early 90’s called “Sunnyside Farm”.  It introduced us to the acting and comedy musings of Phil Daniels, that bloke from off of The Full Monty (also, King Robert out of Game … Continue reading

Posted in Comedy, Rant - tenuous | Tagged | 1 Comment

Doing A Small Blog

This is an attempt to see how easy it is to write a blog on a mobile phone. Incidentally, I am also having a shit, but don’t let that stop you reading on. I don’t really have much to write … Continue reading

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C’est diabolique

What’s the problem with the modern world?  The fact that there is so much information out there available to everyone, idiots and all.  I’d like to write this in a constructive and measured manner, but since this is a ‘blog’, … Continue reading

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Diamonds are forever…

…Or so Sean Connery would have us believe, the Lying, Caledonian prick.  It turns out the half-life of crystalline carbon isn’t in fact limitless but is finite, i.e. not ‘forever’.  I’ve never trusted that man, any individual that bangs on … Continue reading

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All the colours of the rainbow

DIY Chameleon you say?  I’ll show you how to make one: You will need 1 Cat 1 Tiny Mallet Paint in various colours 1 Pair of Secateurs 1 Tiny Spoon Some Polyfilla 1 Pair of Clippers A Shitload of Toilet … Continue reading

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The Yurt of Time

I found the tent It seems quite big I thought I’d got it wrong I hadn’t, it’s a yurt I’d been told it was a tent This must be it It should travel in time Let’s give it a go … Continue reading

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Airports, Chunky Alan and 80’s celebrities

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! A bomb! Not really, just trying to get your attention.  It worked didn’t it? I used to work as a bag handler at terminal 17 in Manchester Airport.  What a great life, carrying bags and stacking them tetris-like.  Clearly … Continue reading

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