Author Archives: Paul

Friday Night

Mad dogs with guns and a brown-eyed hooker that goes by the name of Crazy Sue. The sun bronzes the western sky and an inky blue seeps across the eastern horizon. A calamitous noise from the bar, whisky soaked vocals … Continue reading

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Interview with a Shakespeare

We secured an interview from beyond the grave with Harriet Shakespeare, William’s mother. She speaks candidly to about stockings, travel and cholera. Interview by Paul. What’s it like to have given birth to the most famous writer in living … Continue reading

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An Englishman’s home is his castle. Or so they say. Of the available definitions for castle (source: I am (personally) mostly taken by ‘A strongly fortified, permanently garrisoned stronghold’. In this regard an Englishman’s home is not literally his … Continue reading

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20 sides to every story

I must admit I can’t remember if I ever did use the 20-sided dice correctly whilst playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. I knew of a concept of THAC0 which was to be modified by something or other, to decide whether … Continue reading

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Kin Ross

Wee Johnathan, with your curly hair – Your incomplete linguistics. And Paul, a tool there is no higher – A face like broken biscuits.   Your shorter than your brother John, And generally more insipid. But at least your sycophancy … Continue reading

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Paul and Shark

The roughened skin allowed him to carve an elegant path through the chilly waters, tail batting gently to propel his lumpen frame of grey-coated flesh along the huge tunnel of shifting water. This jetstream would take him all the way … Continue reading

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I dream of Game Genie

I dreamt about a crying child. I don’t know quite why the child was crying but being that it was one of my dreams, it was probably something to do with not having adequate access to computer games. Is it … Continue reading

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Kiss from a rose

I sat down and watched the last ten minutes of One Tree Hill the other day, and I cried a little bit inside. It was quite easily the worst piece of television I have ever seen, and that includes comparing … Continue reading

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Elephant in room

Int. Office – Day STEVE: What’s that? JACK: It’s an elephant. STEVE: Why is everybody ignoring it? It’s standing on my gym kit, and I could really do with going home in the next few minutes or so. JACK: Yeah, … Continue reading

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Hello World! Where have you gone?

I awake in an unfamiliar house and fall off my bed. I’ve got a t-shirt on and some loose fitting trousers. It is deathly quiet outside, like civilisation has ended. There is a deer looking in to the house through … Continue reading

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